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Brickset Bonus Ball - Happy New Deer to the Winner #30474

bendybadgerbendybadger 127.0.0.1 ::1Member Posts: 1,141
Rushing out so quick post for tomorrow's Bonus Ball draw

Simply tell a joke, pun, meme or something that should raise a smile to people to be in a chance to win the happy new deer #30474

Apologies in advance for any 'dad' jokes.

Best of luck all
GothamConstructionComessysolid_striderkiki180703BumblepantsLego_StarsnowhitieLegoboyCOOLEGOricecakekezkhmellymel
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Comments

  • paul_mertonpaul_merton UKMember Posts: 2,963
    edited December 2016
    I once entered 10 jokes into some similar competitions, expecting that at least one would win something. But no pun in ten did.
    davetheoxygenmanRenegade007cjhbendybadgerkiki180703Bumblepantssnowhitiesid3windrricecakekhmellymel
  • historymanhistoryman Member Posts: 366
    My favourite joke of all time - and I get chance to tell it every day without fail:

    What's a dentist's favourite time?

    Two thirty (tooth hurty)
    davetheoxygenmanRenegade007cjhstluxkiki180703Bumblepantsricecakekhmellymel
  • diddypididdypi USAMember Posts: 25
    What is black and white and red all over?

    I know it's a really old one, but I actually asked someone last night and they forgot, and couldn't answer it!

    Answer:  a newspaper (read all over)  - as well as many other answers but I think this was the original.
    TheOriginalSimonBkiki180703khmellymel
  • jmeninnojmeninno The Batcave (MA)Member Posts: 772

    Hmmm...I asked my two almost three year old son several weeks ago now what Santa should bring him for Christmas and he said "play kitchen" or "Yoda" or "stompeez" and then I asked him what Santa should bring Mommy.  He said a dress.  I then asked him what Santa should bring me, who has been working many long days for the last few months, hoping that he would remember "Batman Lego".  He said "Santa bring you to work". 

    (While I found this hilarious at the time, I'm very well aware I need to stop working so much and spend time with my family, which I was actually able to do for the Christmas holiday.)

    TheOriginalSimonBbendybadgerSalamalexkiki180703khmellymel
  • TheOriginalSimonBTheOriginalSimonB Felixstowe Member Posts: 1,483
    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    Because it was dead.

    Why did the parrot fall out of the tree?

    It was stapled to the monkey. 


    Used to laugh our socks off at those when we were 11.
    GothamConstructionCokiki180703Bumblepantskhmellymel
  • Renegade007cjhRenegade007cjh Essex, UKMember Posts: 687
    My niece asked me the age-old question: "What's brown and sticky?  A stick." She found it hilarious. Personally, my favourite is:

    A man goes to the doctor and says "I seem to have a lettuce growing out of my bottom. Can you look at it for me?" So the doctor examines him and says "I've got some bad news: that's just the tip of the iceberg!"

    Always cracks me up! Good luck everyone and Happy New Year!
    TheOriginalSimonBbendybadgermessymr.piggleskiki180703BumblepantsCOOLEGOricecakekhmellymel
  • Bricklover18Bricklover18 PA, USAMember Posts: 720
    How did the cranberry get washed off? It got ocean sprayed.
    SprinkleOtterkiki180703Bumblepantssnowhitiekhmellymel
  • BumblepantsBumblepants DFWMember Posts: 6,364
    What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?

    A synonym roll.
    bendybadgerSalamalexmessyTheOriginalSimonBkiki180703ricecakekhmellymel
  • Switchfoot55Switchfoot55 The Northwest, USAMember Posts: 1,853
    Why should you never let Elsa hold your balloon?

    She'll let it go!

    Dad joke for the win!
    bendybadgerstluxkiki180703Bumblepantssnowhitiekhmellymel
  • donutboydonutboy U.K.Member Posts: 743
    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick.
    Bumblepants
  • SprinkleOtterSprinkleOtter Member Posts: 2,742
    Recent studies show that 11 out of 10 statisticians can't do math.
    snowhitie
  • kezkez United KingdomMember Posts: 828
    bendybadgerLEGO_Dad77
  • cmrt1014cmrt1014 Member Posts: 396
    It's all fun and games until someone tries to divide by zero!  Happy 2017 to all.
    bendybadgersnowhitie
  • CoviCovi BelgiumMember Posts: 301
    As someone who works in IT, I really always need to giggle with this one. :-)
    stluxLego_Starkiki180703SirBenbendybadgersnowhitiericecakekhmellymel
  • SalamalexSalamalex UKMember Posts: 285
    How do you get Pokemon on a bus? 
    You Pushemon.

    One of the kids in my class told me that joke just before the holidays - amazingly I'd never heard it before. 


    bendybadgerkhmellymel
  • sweetness34sweetness34 San Diego, CA.Member Posts: 327
    What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?

     the Christmas alphabet has Noel 


    SprinkleOtterkiki180703khmellymel
  • MasterBeefyMasterBeefy US of AMember Posts: 121
    Chuck Norris built the log cabin he was born in. 
    stluxkiki180703bendybadger
  • woony2woony2 UKMember Posts: 336
    2 monkeys in a bath, one says oo argh oo argh oo oo argh, the other says put some cold in then.
    bendybadger
  • LEGO_Dad77LEGO_Dad77 Northeastern CaliforniaMember Posts: 243
    Voldemort: Knock knock.
    Harry: Who's there?
    Voldemort: You know..
    Harry: You know who?
    Voldemort: Exactly!
    stluxsolid_striderkiki180703Bumblepantssnowhitiediddypiricecakekhmellymel
  • messymessy CambridgeshireMember Posts: 242
    What type of bees are hardest to understand?

    Mumble bees!
    TheOriginalSimonBkiki180703ricecake
  • ShibShib UKMember Posts: 5,319
    How has no one done the obvious yet...

    Venison's a bit deer
    bendybadgerkhmellymel
  • thebeermonkeythebeermonkey GlasgowMember Posts: 390
    My wife and I have this ongoing competition in which we try to outdo each other by seeing who can steal the most outrageous item from our local pet shop. I usually win but last week she took the lead.
    DoctorMcGannkiki180703bendybadgerkhmellymel
  • alldarkeralldarker NetherlandsMember Posts: 225
    I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
    All I did was take a day off.
    SprinkleOtterkiki180703bendybadgerricecakekhmellymel
  • DoctorMcGannDoctorMcGann NashvilleMember Posts: 37
    edited December 2016
    A Roman walks into a bar. 'I'd like a martinus,' he says.
    'Do you mean a martini?' asks the bartender.
    'No, if I'd wanted two I'd've told you so!'
    Salamalexkiki180703BumblepantsMAGNINOMINISUMBRAsnowhitiericecake
  • MextenMexten MexicoMember Posts: 65
    C: I’m a genius, but I’m a misunderstood genius.
    H: What’s misunderstood about you?
    C: Nobody thinks I’m a genius.
    snowhitieDoctorMcGannkez
  • carnage717carnage717 U.S.AMember Posts: 166

    “Knock knock.”

    “Who’s there?”

    “A broken pencil.”

    “A broken pencil who?”

    "Nevermind. It' pointless"

    stluxkiki180703snowhitieLEGO_Dad77ricecake
  • SprinkleOtterSprinkleOtter Member Posts: 2,742
    A Roman walks into a bar. 'I'd like a martinus,' he says.
    'Do you mean a martini?' asks the bartender.
    'No, if I'd wanted two I'd've told you so!'
    A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and gets 5 beers.
    bendybadgerLEGO_Dad77TheOriginalSimonBDoctorMcGannricecakekhmellymel
  • LegogramLegogram PA USAMember Posts: 319
    I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
    SprinkleOtterkiki180703snowhitiebendybadgerLEGO_Dad77ricecakekhmellymel
  • GothamConstructionCoGothamConstructionCo Colchester UKMember Posts: 741
    What's pink and hard?

    A pig with a knife.

    Sorry......I'll just get my coat.


    mr.piggleskiki180703bendybadgerricecake
  • stluxstlux LuxembourgMember Posts: 2,330
    The below picture @Pitfall69 (I think) posted in one of the threads earlier this year was both one of the funniest and most disturbing things I saw this year:



    And now we need a couple more posts to get to page 2 :)
  • William_TownsleyWilliam_Townsley Perth, Scotland Member Posts: 880
    Assault on Hoth pricing 
    starwars4everstluxkiki180703BumblepantsbendybadgerMynattsnowhitieDoctorMcGann
  • ecmo47ecmo47 North CarolinaMember Posts: 2,101
    What did the zero say to the eight?

    Nice belt!
    Bumblepants
  • mr.pigglesmr.piggles Snow FortMember Posts: 326
    Why was the math book so sad?

    It had a lot of problems!
    Bumblepantskhmellymel
  • solid_stridersolid_strider TexasMember Posts: 206
    How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

    Wanna go bike riding?
    LEGO_Dad77
  • starwars4everstarwars4ever The Forest Moon of EndorMember Posts: 481
    edited December 2016
    I once submitted ten different puns into a pun contest, but was disappointed when not one of ten was the winner. (Sounds better when you say it out loud)

    Edit: Just started reading other people's puns after I posted this and I am sorry if I copied anyone.
  • InfinitymanInfinityman United StatesMember Posts: 116
    I got back from Rogue One just Jyn time to enter this draw! 
    bendybadgerstarwars4eversolid_striderkhmellymel
  • caterham7caterham7 UkMember Posts: 405
    Already done a couple of times, but what's brown and sticky? A stick!
  • FodderFodder AustraliaMember Posts: 314
    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick
  • kiki180703kiki180703 Montreal, CanadaMember Posts: 1,045
    A Siri classic: "The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense."
    SalamalexMextenricecakekhmellymel
  • 1x11x1 Member Posts: 132
    How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb?

    i don't know, how many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb?

    you don't know cause you weren't there!
  • theLEGOmantheLEGOman UKMember Posts: 1,520
    edited December 2016
    The roads near me are about to be a joke, they are about to put into force a massive 20mph zone, then they are planning on adding tens of thousands of houses with the appropriate rise in traffic, all while we are in the Top 5 for pollution in the UK cities.

    Awesome.
    bendybadgerkiki180703DoctorMcGann
  • BoomDiggityBoomDiggity Member Posts: 107
    Harambe.  Simply...Harambe.
  • Lego_StarLego_Star ... in a galaxy far, far away.Member Posts: 2,147
    edited December 2016
    This thread: 
    http://bricksetforum.com/discussion/13672/funniest-forum-comments/p1

    This entry is for @legomatt (in addition to any entry he makes for himself if he sees the thread in time). 
    stluxkiki180703khmellymel
  • MAGNINOMINISUMBRAMAGNINOMINISUMBRA Member Posts: 993
    75098 (you didn't say it was a joke that had to make people laugh)
  • snowhitiesnowhitie BelgiumMember Posts: 2,962
    edited December 2016
    The favourite one in our house ATM is 'what do you call a three legged donkey'?



    A wonky!

    - yes it's from a Christmas cracker - happy new year!
    SprinkleOtterbendybadgerBumblepantsTheOriginalSimonBkhmellymel
  • Lego_StarLego_Star ... in a galaxy far, far away.Member Posts: 2,147
    edited December 2016
    ******* Duplicate post alert. *********

    Please can we get to page 2. Eeyore above is just too disturbing. I disney care how we get there.
    bendybadgerkiki180703khmellymel
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