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Women of NASA - Can of Worms

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Comments

  • ShibShib Member Posts: 5,478
    I guess it might just be a regional thing, but definitely the ratio skews very heavily towards women in both roles in this area.

    I know a lot of people will think this as off topic but entirely proves the point for me that you can't just use the argument of "well I can name dozens of women that work in STEM so it's not an issue" because your own context isn't going to be the same as everyone else's. Exactly why I found @Pitfall69's comment so interesting - from my own context I'd expect a man wanting to be a hairdresser to get way more flack (it's often one of the gay stereotypes people love to throw around) than a woman wanting to be a barber.

    Personally I don't see any difference in cutting/styling men's and women's hair, while the fashions might change, and each individual might have more skill or experience at one over the other frankly it's all transferable skills. It's like saying a baker who is good at making cakes absolutely can't bake bread- the skills are different but transferable so they might be better at one than the other chance are they can probably still do both a damn sight better than the average person.
    bandit778Aanchir
  • MaffyDMaffyD Member Posts: 3,579
    This whole thread is off-topic, bearing in mind it's in the 'collecting' section at the minute...
  • Pitfall69Pitfall69 Member Posts: 11,454
    @Shib , in the US, a Barber is one who has gone to "Barber College" and has a specific license to be a Barber. It is a dying occupation as there are less of these "colleges" to attend. A hairdresser goes to beauty/cosmology school and they get a cosmology license. Barbers and Cosmologists both cut hair, but they are different. There are more women that cut/style hair than men, but there are far many more men that actually have a Barber's license than women. Every state is different, but here Barbers and Cosmologists have separate governing bodies and the rules/laws are different for each. 
    ShibMattPetersenbandit778gmonkey76pharmjodSumoLegoOmastarAllBrick
  • CCCCCC Member Posts: 20,556
    Isn't it cosmetology, rather than cosmology? A cosmologist looks at the stars, a cosmetologist does hair and beauty treatments.

    Or was it switched for a joke?

    Pitfall69TikiLukiSumoLegoAllBrick77ncaachamps
  • AyliffeAyliffe Member Posts: 323
    MaffyD said:
    But the can is open - I'm fairly sure that ruins all the worms inside...
    You could sellotape the tin's lid shut, but it'd have to contain... tapeworms [rimshot]



    (look, someone's gotta lighten up this topic so it may as well be me innit)
    MaffyDTechnicNickSumoLegoOmastar
  • playwellplaywell Member Posts: 2,333
    Well I have to say for a site full of misogonistic men we sure do seem to be hitting ourselves over the head a lot, calling ourselves all sorts of names. We seem to have forgotten all about our one goal in life (to belittle women) because I haven't see us call women any names other than astronaut, scientist, wife and friend!
  • Pitfall69Pitfall69 Member Posts: 11,454
    CCC said:
    Isn't it cosmetology, rather than cosmology? A cosmologist looks at the stars, a cosmetologist does hair and beauty treatments.

    Or was it switched for a joke?

    Pitfall69 said:
    @Shib , in the US, a Barber is one who has gone to "Barber College" and has a specific license to be a Barber. It is a dying occupation as there are less of these "colleges" to attend. A hairdresser goes to beauty/cosmology school and they get a cosmology license. 
    cosmology from http://www.space.com/16042-cosmology.html

    "Cosmology is the branch of astronomy involving the origin and evolution of the universe, from the Big Bang to today and on into the future. According to NASA, the definition of cosmology is “the scientific study of the large scale properties of the universe as a whole."

    It turns out this hair-cutting discussion was on-topic after all. Well done everyone!

    Damn autocorrect!!! I should really proofread my posts. Brilliant!!!
    bandit778LegogramShibgmonkey76stluxSumoLegoOmastarAllBrick
  • Pitfall69Pitfall69 Member Posts: 11,454
    ^Definitely a Jar Jar moment. 
    AanchirSumoLego
  • FauchFauch Member Posts: 2,712
    madforLEGO said:

    So.... what are you blathering on about exactly? Read my entire comment (which it appears you did not). Did I speak on any specific side of this? The correct answer is 'No I did not'. You're making an assumption. I have no agenda other than to say that threads like this do nothing and serve no purpose other than to devolve into something were some folks (on both sides) throw insults and accusations around, so I guess I should thank you as well for proving my point.
    hum yeah, it wasn't actually an answer to your post, just that the last sentence inspired me.
  • CathyVTCathyVT Member Posts: 150
    Well... Hello. I'm relatively new to Brickset. And this is the first thread I read all the way through. Wow. Interesting choice of mine... 

    I feel that it happens very often online, that a male says something. A woman says that was misogynistic. The guys says, "no it wasn't. I know it wasn't because I said it and I didn't intend any misogyny by it." Just because you don't realize that what you said was X (misogynistic, racist, a lie, stupid, etc.) doesn't make it not X. 

    One determining factor I've used to try and tell if a statement was misogynistic or not is I ask myself (or the actual person), "Would he have said that to me if I was a guy? Exact same situation, but I'm a guy." I was biking to work one day and was on the last portion of the trip which is on a bike path and a guy biked up along side me and started to chit chat. He asked if I was biking to work. When I said yes, he said, "Good for you!" OK, fine, he's an enthusiastic, friendly guy. But he said it again after he asked and I told him what town I was biking from (a bit farther, and hillier route than the town he was coming from). After the 2nd very enthusiastic "good for you!" I had to roll my eyes. I felt he was being a bit patronizing because I was a woman. I worked it into the conversation that I was on my hybrid bike because my road bike was currently being shipped back from a 104-mile ride I did in the desert. 

    Anyway, I asked myself if I was being over-sensitive, by thinking he was patronizing me for being a woman. I asked myself, "Would he have said that to a guy?" Maybe once, but I don't think he would have said it twice if I was a guy. 

    Oh! But he was being nice! - someone might say. Yeah, but being WAY impressed when a woman does a certain thing is a bit patronizing/misogynistic. 

    Anyway, not exactly on topic, but just my two cents.
    catwranglertmgm528SumoLego77ncaachamps
  • playwellplaywell Member Posts: 2,333
    Aanchir said:
    I don't think anybody's been saying that Brickset is full of misogynistic men. Just that in a lot of AFOL forums and communities there's an uncomfortable amount of misogyny. That's not a particularly harsh generalization, as ANY amount of misogyny tends to be uncomfortable, and I don't think anybody here would argue that here on Brickset we're somehow immune to those kind of problems. It wasn't that long ago that @dougout was going on self-righteous rants and lashing out against anybody who challenged his assumptions about gender (such as his bizarre insistence that the Disney Castle set was designed more for little girls than adults).

    I get a feeling that no forum, no matter how well-managed, can be entirely free of wider societal ills. People are flawed, and you can't exactly anticipate whether somebody who's normally pretty collected might be harboring hurtful prejudices under the surface unless their posts actually devolve into aggressively hateful rants. And sometimes it's not even openly hateful stuff, just closed-minded patterns of thinking like assuming LEGO only makes sets like this one to score political points and not because they like inexpensive projects that gain rapid, widespread support.

    All in all, it's not something to get defensive about, just something to be mindful of. We can strive to be the best community we can and still have stuff we need to keep working on.

    Just wanted to say that was a very well written and thoughtful comment, thanks @Aanchir.

    I guess you missed the part where one person told another to "Go back to your safe space.  I'm sorry your feelings are hurt, but life is tough and we don't need to hear your fake cry for help."? Misogyny is has degrees...

    OK so hear is where I have a problem, yes maybe these comments were unhelpful but why are any of them misogonistic? They are not talking about women are they? They could be aimed at men or women. Most of the time I don't know the gender of the person I am talking to on a forum and I would guess others are the same.

    I think this topic has seen a double standard that there is free rein to say men are... but if the reverse was said about women the topic would go crazy. I believe in equality and I want to talk to both men and women in the same way or to talk about men and women in the same way. But the truth is I don't, I hold back because I am wary of the cry of sexism. So you can have your Women of NASA set and your double standards but you cant have them and equality at the same time.

  • TikiLukiTikiLuki Member Posts: 64
    SMC said:
    Well I have to say for a site full of misogonistic men we sure do seem to be hitting ourselves over the head a lot, calling ourselves all sorts of names. We seem to have forgotten all about our one goal in life (to belittle women) because I haven't see us call women any names other than astronaut, scientist, wife and friend!
    I guess you missed the part where one person told another to "Go back to your safe space.  I'm sorry your feelings are hurt, but life is tough and we don't need to hear your fake cry for help."? Misogyny is has degrees, from overtly hostile to extremely subtle. Like all biases, it can be very difficult to ignore and society is steeped in it. An open-minded person should listen to the lived experiences of women who complain about misogyny and entertain the notion that they're not, actually, lying about it, and then reflect on their own actions and subtle (and not-so-subtle) biases. Never listening to women when they report the things they've actually experienced is a form of misogyny.
    Your quoted example has nothing to do with gender. Either gender could've said that to either gender and still possibly be appropriate from the viewpoint of the person who wrote it. How on earth do you take that as being specifically about women?

    By that logic if somebody says anything to a particular woman then it must be true from the speaker to all women? So "I like your hair" means the speaker likes the hair of all women?
  • CCCCCC Member Posts: 20,556
    ^^ So what are you saying, you don't want compliments if you post a LEGO MOC, in case they are taken as misogynistic?

    Would it have been misogynistic if an enthusiast biker woman said well done?
  • playwellplaywell Member Posts: 2,333
    ^ Guessing you mean ^^^ :) I was confused for a minute there.
  • TikiLukiTikiLuki Member Posts: 64
    CathyVT said:

    I feel that it happens very often online, that a male says something. A woman says that was misogynistic. The guys says, "no it wasn't. I know it wasn't because I said it and I didn't intend any misogyny by it." Just because you don't realize that what you said was X (misogynistic, racist, a lie, stupid, etc.) doesn't make it not X. 


    Nor is it automatically true that just because somebody listening to/reading something interprets a statement as having a certain meaning or intent that it actually does.
  • SithLord196SithLord196 Member Posts: 1,161
    I'm disappointed a remark about going back to a safe space was even brought up at one point in this discussion.

    Regardless of my opinion on safe spaces, telling someone to go back to their safe space in a debate is exactly the same as calling someone a dreaded -ist. Neither really serve to advance your argument.  
    CathyVTAanchir
  • RogerKirkRogerKirk Member Posts: 365
    edited March 2017
    Good grief. If there was an award for the worst thread on Brickset, I think this one should win it.

    Far too much moaning and complaining. I think some people just need to relax a little.

    Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing what the final version of this set looks like. I think I will want to buy it if it looks good and the price is right. I bought the Doctor Who set (which incidentally got me interested in Lego again) and am looking forward to the Fishing store. But none of the other approved Ideas sets have appealed to me until now.

    So, as with all Ideas sets, some people will like them and others will not. If you don't like the women of NASA set, then fair enough. Just don't get so angry over it!
  • DuchessaDuchessa Member Posts: 287
    This whole thread is a perfect illustration to why I don't post much on forums in general. But just for the record, I would like to clarify some things. 

    I've never said that people here are worse than anywhere else. Quite the opposite, actually. See, I still have an account here. I read the news, check the forums now and then, and I keep track of my collation here. It's the nicest and best run Lego site, IMO. 

    Having said that, there are always individuals who really can't understand why something they say or do is wrong in any way, and sometimes these individuals happen to be in the same forum thread, LUG or somewhere else. Sometimes they even run the show, and that makes things even harder. 

    Most of the guys I know, both online and in my daily life, are really great persons. Some are not, and I try to avoid them as much as I can. The best advice I can give to anyone is: Be the kind of person who you would like to meet yourself when you're online. Be the kind person. That usually covers it. 
    Jern92GoodCoffeeJoeyShibcatwranglerCathyVTAanchir
  • playwellplaywell Member Posts: 2,333
    CathyVT said:
    After the 2nd very enthusiastic "good for you!" I had to roll my eyes. I felt he was being a bit patronizing because I was a woman.

    If you rolled your eyes at me and you were a man I would ask you what the problem was if you were a woman I would let it go. Is this misogynistic, maybe.

    But gender politics is so mess up, can a man hold open a door or pay for dinner? Is it ok that more woman than men take a break from their career to care for a new born baby? Can men and women be different and equal at the same time?

    There are some real problems in this world, there are places where if a woman is raped she can be beaten and charged with adulatory. Where woman have no rights and are not free.

    Yes we should fight for equality but we shouldn't see shadows at every turn.

    Men face sexism too, we die a lot early than woman and you don't hear a lot about what we can do to change that. There was a time when male cancers received a lot less founding than female cancers. Was conscription male or female dissemination.

    When people thought tennis was sexist did they try and equalise the number of sets men and woman play, did they suggest having mixed tournaments or was it just about pay?

    I seem to be getting more and more off topic so back to the set.

    Making a set with 5 woman and no men is fine not a problem, recognising only people from one gender? No that is not equality, it is sexism. Is it the worst kind of sexism, no. Do men have it bad, not really. Do women, (goes hide under a table) not in the western world not really.


  • tmgm528tmgm528 Member Posts: 457
    SMC said: Men face sexism too, we die a lot early than woman and you don't hear a lot about what we can do to change that. There was a time when male cancers received a lot less founding than female cancers. Was conscription male or female dissemination.
    Saying a four year biological age gap between the death of men and women isnt sexism, that's just nature. Again, you say there WAS a time cancer received less, WAS conscription male or female. 

    These are past tenses, women still face sexism to a far greater degree than we (men) ever did.
    Jern92catwranglerCathyVTAanchir
  • playwellplaywell Member Posts: 2,333
    edited March 2017
    tmgm528 said:
    Saying a four year biological age gap between the death of men and women isnt sexism, that's just nature. Again, you say there WAS a time cancer received less, WAS conscription male or female. 

    These are past tenses, women still face sexism to a far greater degree than we (men) ever did.

    I said was because I was being generous, there is still a gap in cancer funding but just because there is a gap doesn't mean I think it is a feminist conspiracy so I didn't try and over exaggerate it.

    The "death gap" is not just biological, it has a lot more to do with the gender skew in the kind of jobs people do. Sexism in pushing one gender to a field of work is almost always seen as discriminating against women but it is also killing men. And sadly men who rule the world and who have it so good are more likely to comment suicide. We are also more likely to be murdered but its again more likely to be a man doing the killing so we have ourselves to blame for that one. And we are more likely to die taking bigger risks, like challenging gender politics on a internet forum.

  • tmgm528tmgm528 Member Posts: 457
    SMC said:
    tmgm528 said:
    Saying a four year biological age gap between the death of men and women isnt sexism, that's just nature. Again, you say there WAS a time cancer received less, WAS conscription male or female. 

    These are past tenses, women still face sexism to a far greater degree than we (men) ever did.

    I said was because I was being generous, there is still a gap in cancer funding but just because there is a gap doesn't mean I think it is a feminist conspiracy so I didn't try and over exaggerate it.

    The "death gap" is not just biological, it has a lot more to do with the gender skew in the kind of jobs people do. Sexism in pushing one gender to a field of work is almost always seen as discriminating against women but it is also killing men. And sadly men who rule the world and who have it so good are more likely to comment suicide. We are also more likely to be murdered but its again more likely to be a man doing the killing so we have ourselves to blame for that one. And we are more likely to die taking bigger risks, like challenging gender politics on a internet forum.

    None of those things are sexism though? More likely to commit suicide, more likely to be murdered, etc. Those are all statistics and facts, none of that really has to do with sexism at all, just stats.
  • playwellplaywell Member Posts: 2,333
    edited March 2017

    Less women in science, this is also just a fact but is it also sexism? Yes its not a direct link but society's ideas of masculinity is killing men. We take on hard physical jobs, we work for longer (both hours and for more years). I don't think sexism is the right word but suicide is a gender issue.

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2012/09/24/the-gender-inequality-of-suicide-why-are-men-at-such-high-risk/#2655a18c3ba8

  • FauchFauch Member Posts: 2,712
    I don't think it's mainly society's idea of masculinity. you take on hard physical jobs because that's all you can afford to make money. women also get broken by their jobs, even though they may be less physically intense.
  • SumoLegoSumoLego Member Posts: 15,241
    edited March 2017
    I wish someone would get a leaked photo of the box so we can move on from whether or not making certain comments in certain contexts are misogynistic or not.  

    The guy on the bike may have been making the comment because of what you are, and not who you are.  I think it is wrong to assume either or neither motive.  He could have just been making idle conversation.

    The discussion gets wildly obtuse when weighing whether or not a certain group has more 'difficult' jobs and/or a shorter life expectancy, and if there are any relevant conclusions to draw from that observation.

    Disliking the NASA set purely because it is a female-themed set is one thing.  Disliking the set because it is poorly designed and offers little building or play value is another.
    tmgm528gmonkey76pharmjod
  • playwellplaywell Member Posts: 2,333
    edited March 2017

    Like I said before I think men have it ok and I am not trying to say women don't face more sexism. But why is it so hard to face the fact that men are discriminated again too?

    Criminal justice system: Men are more likely to be charged, more likely to be found guilty but the worst is they get a much longer prison sentences than women for the same crime.

    Social problems: A lot more likely to commit suicide, be homeless and so on like we have already talked about.

    Work: larger numbers of men are injured or die in work place accidents. Again much larger number of men are killed fighting in the army so its not a problem of the past like was suggested.

    Family: Men pay fare higher amounts when couples separate, they are fare more likely to loss custody of their kids. Men have far less rights when it comes to paternity, a women right to choose (ok lets not go there).

    (And another hard one) domestic violence: yes more women face violence but the skew is not as great as you would think and men get less help than women face a much smaller chance of it being stopped and women are far far less likely to be charged with a crime. And we are back at the first point.

     

  • RecceRecce Member Posts: 923
    International Women's Day is just around the corner so be nice.

    "International Women's Day (March 8) is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity."
    MattDawsonMaffyDtmgm528AllBrickAanchir
  • MattDawsonMattDawson Member Posts: 1,492
    Should I point out that we've yet to see the official release, which may be far better than a NASA rehashed Research Institute?
  • CCCCCC Member Posts: 20,556
    Should I point out that we've yet to see the official release, which may be far better than a NASA rehashed Research Institute?
    I doubt it will be significantly different. Ideas sets tend not to stray too far from the original submission. This was a minifigure pack with fairly insignificant builds to go with it, it will probably stay that way.

    Pricing should be interesting if it is mainly minifigures. I reckon they could get away with $50 for five licensed figures if they come with NASA branding. Probably less if they use generic torsos.
  • RedbullgivesuwindRedbullgivesuwind Member Posts: 2,142
    I've completely forgotten the Lego set we are all upset by. What was it? 
    Johnyk668
  • MaffyDMaffyD Member Posts: 3,579

    I was going to come back here and say a few things which have kinda already been said. I'll say them anyway.

    Tomorrow is International Women's Day (my place of work is promoting it heavily - they pride themselves on diversity - this is the official site: https://www.internationalwomensday.com/). This set leans into the ethos of that movement really well and I think it's great to think that when this set is released, women and girls (and men and boys) will see the achievements of women in a field traditionally dominated by men (in one form or another) when they go into a Lego Store.

    As far as it being a good set is concerned, there will be plenty of others - if it's naff, go buy them. But it might be really good - some unique or interesting parts in different colours maybe, some innovative building techniques that we can use in our own builds, some interesting minifig designs/decoration, you just don't know until the set comes out.

    Finally, whatever your views on gender parity are, remember that it's not what you intend by your comments on here, it's how you make others feel when they read them. I don't wish to patronize, but I know that I occasionally make mistakes when I write on this forum (sorry) but I'm always open to try again and change my approach and see if that works. We all just want to communicate really, that's why we're here!

    tmgm528MattPetersenJern92Aanchir
  • Legopassion8Legopassion8 Member Posts: 1,181
    ^speak for yourself....I'm here to hunt & slay witches!
    MaffyDgmonkey76
  • mountebankmountebank Member Posts: 1,237
    One thing I'm forever seeing on the Internet is "you have no right not to be offended".

    Sure, but there's nothing to stop people pausing and thinking about phrasing things pleasantly, wondering about other people's perspectives, and just having a bit of consideration.

    This "I have a right to say just what I want and **** you" is another form of me me me on the Internet. Does the Internet have to be a place where people can't exercise decent manners?

    And the set? Well, I've not seen it yet so I'll wait to decide if I want to buy it.
    MattPetersentmgm528CathyVTGlacierfalls265
  • SprinkleOtterSprinkleOtter Member Posts: 2,780
    You're sexist! No, you're sexist!
    Are not!
    Are too!
    ...
    Legopassion8gmonkey76Pumpkin_3CK5
  • deephorsedeephorse Member Posts: 83
    SMC said:

    Like I said before I think men have it ok and I am not trying to say women don't face more sexism. But why is it so hard to face the fact that men are discriminated again too?

    Criminal justice system: Men are more likely to be charged, more likely to be found guilty but the worst is they get a much longer prison sentences than women for the same crime.

    Social problems: A lot more likely to commit suicide, be homeless and so on like we have already talked about.

    Work: larger numbers of men are injured or die in work place accidents. Again much larger number of men are killed fighting in the army so its not a problem of the past like was suggested.

    Family: Men pay fare higher amounts when couples separate, they are fare more likely to loss custody of their kids. Men have far less rights when it comes to paternity, a women right to choose (ok lets not go there).

    (And another hard one) domestic violence: yes more women face violence but the skew is not as great as you would think and men get less help than women face a much smaller chance of it being stopped and women are far far less likely to be charged with a crime. And we are back at the first point.

     


    I might have some sympathy for your point of view if you had quoted the sources for the 'statistics' you quote.  For some it's blindingly obvious why 'x' is the case and has nothing whatsoever to do with discrimination.  Some of your other claims fly in the face of my experience which is thirty years in the criminal justice system.  So before I write these off as a list of Mail Online headlines please tell us where you are getting this information from so that we can assess for ourselves the veracity of your discrimination claims.
    tmgm528catwrangler
  • playwellplaywell Member Posts: 2,333
    edited March 2017
    deephorse said:
    SMC said:

    Like I said before I think men have it ok and I am not trying to say women don't face more sexism. But why is it so hard to face the fact that men are discriminated again too?

    Criminal justice system: Men are more likely to be charged, more likely to be found guilty but the worst is they get a much longer prison sentences than women for the same crime.

    Social problems: A lot more likely to commit suicide, be homeless and so on like we have already talked about.

    Work: larger numbers of men are injured or die in work place accidents. Again much larger number of men are killed fighting in the army so its not a problem of the past like was suggested.

    Family: Men pay fare higher amounts when couples separate, they are fare more likely to loss custody of their kids. Men have far less rights when it comes to paternity, a women right to choose (ok lets not go there).

    (And another hard one) domestic violence: yes more women face violence but the skew is not as great as you would think and men get less help than women face a much smaller chance of it being stopped and women are far far less likely to be charged with a crime. And we are back at the first point.

     


    I might have some sympathy for your point of view if you had quoted the sources for the 'statistics' you quote.  For some it's blindingly obvious why 'x' is the case and has nothing whatsoever to do with discrimination.  Some of your other claims fly in the face of my experience which is thirty years in the criminal justice system.  So before I write these off as a list of Mail Online headlines please tell us where you are getting this information from so that we can assess for ourselves the veracity of your discrimination claims.


    http://www.parity-uk.org/Briefing/MenandWomenandtheCJSfComplete.pdf

    There is lots of info on the web but I didn't know which ones were just propaganda and which were legitimate so I didn't quote any.

  • playwellplaywell Member Posts: 2,333
    edited March 2017

    But compared to some things women in the west have to face its nothing:

    CathyVT said:
    he said, "Good for you!"

    :)
     

    Again not saying men have it hard, we don't.

  • CathyVTCathyVT Member Posts: 150
    SMC said:

    But compared to some things women in the west have to face its nothing:

    CathyVT said:
    he said, "Good for you!"

    :)
     

    Again not saying men have it hard, we don't.

    Oh, I agree! Not a huge offense in the least. Just pointing out that saying something positive, that you think is a compliment, is sometimes a not-nice and patronizing thing to say. If a man says to a woman at a store, "Oh, that's so impressive that you can pick up that heavy, heavy bag! Good for you!" That would certainly be deserving of an eye roll. 
  • Legopassion8Legopassion8 Member Posts: 1,181
    ^Meh. I'd be impressed. Most women are like,  "Can you carry that for me? It's too much." 

    :)

    BAMF!!!
  • CCCCCC Member Posts: 20,556
    edited March 2017
    CathyVT said:
    Oh, I agree! Not a huge offense in the least. Just pointing out that saying something positive, that you think is a compliment, is sometimes a not-nice and patronizing thing to say. If a man says to a woman at a store, "Oh, that's so impressive that you can pick up that heavy, heavy bag! Good for you!" That would certainly be deserving of an eye roll. 
    And how often does a stranger say that to you in a supermarket? I imagine it is less frequently than a woman (especially an older one) says "you're doing well" to a father when looking after a young child.

    pharmjod
  • tmgm528tmgm528 Member Posts: 457
    CCC said:
    CathyVT said:
    Oh, I agree! Not a huge offense in the least. Just pointing out that saying something positive, that you think is a compliment, is sometimes a not-nice and patronizing thing to say. If a man says to a woman at a store, "Oh, that's so impressive that you can pick up that heavy, heavy bag! Good for you!" That would certainly be deserving of an eye roll. 
    And how often does a stranger say that to you in a supermarket? I imagine it is less frequently than a woman (especially an older one) says "you're doing well" to a father when looking after a young child.

    I love that to try and disprove her anecdote you use your own. That definitely makes sense
  • CCCCCC Member Posts: 20,556
    Not really, just pointing out that both sexes make what they think are compliments that can be taken the wrong way. Not that I have ever heard of a woman being approached in a supermarket and being congratulations on her shopping bag carrying strength.
    pharmjodSumoLego
  • FauchFauch Member Posts: 2,712
    CathyVT said:
    Just pointing out that saying something positive, that you think is a compliment, is sometimes a not-nice and patronizing thing to say. 
    and sometimes it tells more about the person receiving the compliment. some people just assume that compliments are only used to manipulate them.
  • Pitfall69Pitfall69 Member Posts: 11,454
    To be honest; when I am shopping with my girls I get the occasional  "Ohhhhh, you are so good with them" from other women in the store. How am I supposed to take that?
    bandit778pharmjod
  • playwellplaywell Member Posts: 2,333
    ^ Positively?
  • Pitfall69Pitfall69 Member Posts: 11,454
    ^I could take it negatively right? I mean, just because I am a man, I can't take care and nurture my children like a woman can? 
    SprinkleOttergmonkey76Drmnez
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