How Do You "Get Away" With Buying LEGO?

BrownRiceMafia

Not sure if there's already a thread on this topic or if I'm even in the right category.

But as a TFOL, I've gotten more than a few weird looks from parents when I waltz into the local Target to pick up a set or two to beef up my collection. Some kids even run off when I walk into the LEGO aisle. So my question to other TFOL's is...
What is your preferred method for getting in and out of stores with LEGO without drawing too much attention to yourself? Of course this probably bothers some people less than others.

Personally I've started using the "it's for a sibling" approach and that works well enough.

catwrangler

I'm afraid I'm past the age when I can offer direct experience, but I hope other TFOLs respond.

From what I remember, I think it's actually harder being a TFOL than an AFOL - as a teenager I never lost my interest in toys, and I remember one excruciating moment looking at X-Men action figures when a friend from school walked in, and I launched into this self-conscious spiel about how I was picking a present for "my little cousin"... ditto many, MANY self-conscious moments in the Lego section...

pasat14

Have never had to explain myself in a shop thankfully. When buying second hand locally though when i go to pick up i just say its for my kids (i dont have any...). I used to be honest but people looked at me so judgingly it just got annoying.... I'm a terrible liar though so i still wonder if they believe me!

DeeC2_Josh

Checkers can be pretty nosey sometimes. If you don't want any looks self checkout can be your friend

Bumblepants

My advice is to not let others, especially strangers you will probably never see a second time, steal your joy. If someone is bothered by you being in the same shopping aisle as you or what you are picking out that is their problem. If you get a scowl from a parent just smile back and then ignore them. 

Goldchains

I've been collecting toys for most of my adult life(starting in 1995-2003 with the POTF Star Wars action figures, then onto Transformers from around 2005-2010, and now Lego from 2011) and I've had many many people look at me funny. I remember one old guy asked me at the Lego store if the set was for me or for someone else and I said "all mine!" and ran out of the store. A lot of times though, I will see other collectors and say hello and talk with them. Probably the most uncomfortable store for me is Toys R Us, because the wife is wont to give me grief if I want to go there and all the parents/kids look at me like I'm a pedophile if I walk in alone. Any other store is usually pretty quiet.

xwingpilot

When #75094 was delivered (in its LEGO shipping box) the delivery lady hid it out of sight and said "are the kids around because this might be a present". I just replied "no need to worry - it's for me!". She then saw my LEGO display shelves in the study from the door and, with a big smile, said "ah yes, I can see that now". :)

TigerMoth

BrownRiceMafia said:

But as a TFOL, I've gotten more than a few weird looks from parents when I waltz into the local Target to pick up a set or two to beef up my collection.

You only get weird looks because you look weird - and I don't mean you look like a Martian. You look guilty, shifty and nervous; you're "up to something". It might be obvious, or just give people a subconscious feeling that something's not quiet right, and they simultaneously want to know what you're playing at and, at the same time, not get involved.

Personally I've started using the "it's for a sibling" approach and that works well enough.

A shop is there to sell things. If that's why you're there, and what you're buying isn't covered by some other sort of of restriction (like age limits on alcohol), then there is no reason to feel guilty or look shifty. Everybody has relatives and friends for whom they can be buying something and that's what most people will assume. If somebody doesn't, then the problem is theirs, not yours.

The only person who knows the target of a purchase is you. If it's a legitimate purchase, there is no reason to feel guilty. If you don't feel guilty, you won't look guilty - and nobody will bat an eyelid.

A lot of crimes are committed because the criminal can act normally. Fortunately, some people can tell the difference between an act and the real thing - but you wouldn't be acting.

CircleK

I stopped buying toys as I became a teenager and didn't start buying them again until I was well into my 30s. I no longer purchased anything but I never lost my interest in them either. I pretty much visited the toy aisle everytime I was in a store. None of the girls I dated ever thought it was weird either that I know of. I remember one of them saying something along the lines of "all guys do this". So... Maybe it's not as uncommon as you think. 

bendybadger

@TigerMoth has got it spot on.  Just be yourself.  If anyone asks then why lie.  "It's for me.  I like Lego and am proud of it"  Occasionally I get the person at the checkout who asks if it is for the kids and again I say "no, its all for me" and smile.
Be confident as you stride up the Lego aisle.  You are in store to make your purchase or just browse, just as they are.  
If kids are there I never bat an eyelid after all it is a "kids toy". 
Maybe it is an age thing but as an "oldie" I never worry about what other people think of me.  I am just happy being myself.

Bricklover18

I felt awkward for a while, but then I saw other AFOLs.  I was in target about two years ago searching for CMFs when a guy and his wife entered the Lego aisle.  They were looking a the Star Wars stuff and the guy grabbed a set.  His wife asked if that was the set he wanted, and he excitedly said yes. 

Yodalicious

There's this old adage something along the lines of "when you walk in to a room full of other people, don't worry about what they think of you, because they don't, they're all thinking about themselves too."

I was very self-conscious when I was younger until I just stopped caring. I've always liked superheroes and Star Wars and collectibles and LEGO. My friends are my friends regardless. And strangers in a store are just that...strangers. They won't remember you the second they walk out of the store. If someone truly judges you because of something you like, do you really want to be around that person anyway?

Buy what makes you happy and, most important, be yourself. 

MattDawson

I used to worry about it, but nobody ever questioned it. Piece counts of the higher sets seems to indicate they're more complex and fancy and technical, even if they're not.

Lego may have an age range, but to be honest aside from the lower limit (due to the risk of swallowing, etc) there's no reason for anyone to stop playing with Lego.

sonsofsceva

Very interesting. I have never had this problem, even when buying a lot of LEGO sets on discount. As a teen, I worked at Target in toys and bought any sets that looked interesting. I never heard anything about it. Maybe I am just oblivious to others' looks.

SprinkleOtter

Sorry about the quality, but this sums it up pretty well for me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bMkHM0_298

Coolguy5000

The most annoying  thing to me is when they try and talk dumb to me at checkout. When buying 42025 technic Helicopter today I was asked how long would it take me to which I smartly replied 2 hours. You must be great then she said. In smyths I often have a staff member stand beside me  doing nothing -  just watching what I do with the cmf  packets. I'm always very tidy with returning packets to the display. I now just turn and ask them to hold the ones I've picked out already. Well they are there to do some work.

SprinkleOtter

In smyths I often have a staff member stand beside me  doing nothing -  just watching what I do with the cmf  packets. I'm always very tidy with returning packets to the display. I now just turn and ask them to hold the ones I've picked out already. Well they are there to do some work.

Oh, that is great! :)

Bosstone100

^^ I like that one. 

Sethro3

I felt weird about it when I got back into LEGO in 2011. I think most people do. But then you realize you're there buying a hobby, while someone else is over in the automotive section buying something and someone is in grocery and then you start noticing they aren't paying attention to you.

An odd moment is when you are standing feeling CMF packets. I have tons of kids running around me, the parents are asking if this is the set they want, blah blah blah, but no one pays any mind to me (or they do and I don't pay mind to them..), but no one asks me anything and I don't care if they give me looks because I'm focused on finding the figure I want so I can get home. I don't want to stand there all day.

I think ultimately I judge them more than me because I hear everything they say. "Timmy, wouldn't you rather have this set since it is a lower piece count/more your age range/has characters I think you should have..." One time,the mom said you have $x to spend. The boy grabbed something UNDER that price, the mom didn't want to buy it. She instead said hey what about this one! (which was MORE than what she offered to pay...odd)

TL:DR version
Be yourself, be happy with what you buy, enjoy your hobby. As long as you aren't buying the sets with ulterior motives, then you shouldn't have anything to be guilty about/worry about.

MattDawson

^ reminds me of when I was in TRU, I believe. I was busy feeling the packets for the final few to complete a set and a kid arrived with his mother in tow saying he was hoping he could get a 'x'. I was in full auto mode sifting through them, and found a copy of the one he wanted, and went "it's a x you want isn't it? Here. You can tell from the ___" and he was happy as larry, his mother was aghast I could tell without opening the packet.

SprinkleOtter

MattDawson said:

^ reminds me of when I was in TRU, I believe. I was busy feeling the packets for the final few to complete a set and a kid arrived with his mother in tow saying he was hoping he could get a 'x'. I was in full auto mode sifting through them, and found a copy of the one he wanted, and went "it's a x you want isn't it? Here. You can tell from the ___" and he was happy as larry, his mother was aghast I could tell without opening the packet.

Great story, but time to educate an ignorant 'Merican. What the heck does "happy as larry" mean? (I know it means he was happy, but what does larry have to do with it?)

tallblocktoo

@SprinkleOtter  I was curious too.  This is what I found:  http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/as-happy-as-larry.html

MattDawson

SprinkleOtter said:

Great story, but time to educate an ignorant 'Merican. What the heck does "happy as larry" mean? (I know it means he was happy, but what does larry have to do with it?)

It's actually Australian - story goes an Australian boxer named Larry Foley retired after a final fight aged 32 in the 1870s for a vast sum of money and the newspaper headline was "Happy as Larry" after he won.

Rebelego

The first time I bought a set as an adult, I picked up a cheap birthday card reading "Happy 8th Birthday!" or whatever. I was embarrassed. I don't care any more. Now, I always get "Would you like a gift receipt?" I just look at them deadpan and say, "No, they're for me." It usually works. The again, they won't look up at me after that. I'll run into some close friends at Target or Walmart and they know about my BL store. No biggy.

tallblocktoo

I was in a toy shop the other day looking at Lego. An adult male and female passed by presumably a couple.  He had noticed a particular set and mentioned something to her about buying it perhaps.  She responded by saying well its says for age 8-14 or whatever the range stated. He didn't appear to happy.  Ha I wanted to say something so badly!  

Anyways  as stated buy what makes you happy!  Lots of folks have hobbies they are just different than yours.  Plus hang out here and the main page Brickset and you will be in fine company with folks of similar mindset as yours!  

wardm

@BrownRiceMafia I really understand what you mean by your question and I get that you're feeling awkward about buying stuff in stores. I think all the above tips are great and you'll probably feel better about it when you'd apply them! 
But if you're still feeling awkward about it, maybe buying online would help?

willobee498

No longer a teen, but when I was the only time a person ever paid me any attention was in line at checkout. The woman ahead pf me turned around and said she thinks it's great that I'm still buying Lego. Not what I expected at all!

ryjay

Wow, didn't ever think about it....and actually wasn't even aware it could be a problem for some.  Hmmm, I enjoy living in my vacuum of reality :)

Help clarify one point....are we concerned about what the minimum wage clerks think or other people in the store around us as we buy?

madforLEGO

The 'trick' to getting in and out of a store with LEGO without drawing attention to yourself is to purchase it and not try to steal it. At least that is all the store will care about.

Seriously though, eventually you will get to a certain age where you will not care what others think.

BrownRiceMafia

TigerMoth said:

BrownRiceMafia said:

But as a TFOL, I've gotten more than a few weird looks from parents when I waltz into the local Target to pick up a set or two to beef up my collection.

You only get weird looks because you look weird - and I don't mean you look like a Martian. You look guilty, shifty and nervous; you're "up to something". It might be obvious, or just give people a subconscious feeling that something's not quiet right, and they simultaneously want to know what you're playing at and, at the same time, not get involved.

Personally I've started using the "it's for a sibling" approach and that works well enough.

A shop is there to sell things. If that's why you're there, and what you're buying isn't covered by some other sort of of restriction (like age limits on alcohol), then there is no reason to feel guilty or look shifty. Everybody has relatives and friends for whom they can be buying something and that's what most people will assume. If somebody doesn't, then the problem is theirs, not yours.

The only person who knows the target of a purchase is you. If it's a legitimate purchase, there is no reason to feel guilty. If you don't feel guilty, you won't look guilty - and nobody will bat an eyelid.

A lot of crimes are committed because the criminal can act normally. Fortunately, some people can tell the difference between an act and the real thing - but you wouldn't be acting.

It's not really that I'm that self-conscious, and trust me, I act perfectly natural. I just think it's an interesting "challenge" for TFOL's and apparently some AFOL's, too. If anything this topic is just for fun.

BrownRiceMafia

wardm said:

@BrownRiceMafia I really understand what you mean by your question and I get that you're feeling awkward about buying stuff in stores. I think all the above tips are great and you'll probably feel better about it when you'd apply them! 
But if you're still feeling awkward about it, maybe buying online would help?

I think I might have overstated the "problem" in the original post. Like in my reply to TigerMoth, this is really more for fun stories, etc. then seriously addressing self-consciousness, etc.

BillyBricks84

For the most part, I have gotten pretty used to standing in the LEGO aisle, although it did take me a few months to not feel out of place as I am a man standing by himself where generally only kids and their parents are hanging out.

Unfortunately, I did have a moment recently when I chickened out with being completely fine with what I was doing: I went to a Walmart to get the Heartlake Hotel at 50% off, which would make it my first Friends set. I took it to the cashier, she rang it up, and as I was running my credit card, she said, "Girls sure do love these." I just nodded and finished paying. 

ricecake

tallblocktoo said:

its says for age 8-14 or whatever the range stated.

This makes me wonder why they don't just say it's for ages 8+ instead of putting an upper limit on it. Even their boxes of bricks (e.g., #10696) has an age range of 4-99, implying that people 100 years old shouldn't be playing with them.

catwrangler

I'd imagine it's to make it easier for people who are buying a present for a kid but who aren't around kids that much - they might not have a clear idea of when children tend to age into or out of certain toys...

willobee498

Yeah, the realistic age range suggestion is more useful, but I sure do miss when it said "Ages X to 99"

tallblocktoo

@willobee498  Was that on all Lego packaging at one point?

GeordiePaul

@BrownRiceMafia Get yourself a four year old kid, they're great for getting in and (eventually) out again with a good haul. The only trouble is talking him out of sets that he wants that you're not interested in without looking like an awful dad. Pros and cons I suppose.

HugeYellowBrick

Have a look around. There may be other TFOLs there who would like to be friends.

GeordiePaul

And way back when I actually was a teen in the 80's and early 90's I was so oblivious to other people laughing at me and thinking it was weird I still bought toys that I didn't notice/care. And if I felt self conscious I would definitely tell my younger self not to give two hoots about what other people said. As others have said, do what makes you happy and brings you joy. Life is too short to be worried about such matters :-)

TigerMoth

People laugh at other people having fun, essentially because they're jealous but simply haven't got the guts to do it themselves.

CurvedRoadPlate

Join a LUG. Go with other like minded AFOLs or TFOLs. Shopping for Lego is even more fun when you do it with others. 

matticus_bricks

willobee498 said:

No longer a teen, but when I was the only time a person ever paid me any attention was in line at checkout. The woman ahead pf me turned around and said she thinks it's great that I'm still buying Lego. Not what I expected at all!

I had a similar experience as well! I struck up a conversation with a mom who was shopping for her son in the Lego aisle, and after explaining my hobby to her, she complimented me and said it was good that I have a way to creatively express myself. 

As others have said, don't be afraid to be proud of yourself and your hobbies. And I also find it helps to be friendly to others. I'll always help people find specific CMFs. 

KeyboardKafe

Maybe a bit late too the party, but as an AFOL (I turned 18 just three weeks ago, actually!) who was not too long ago a TFOL, I live in a somewhat small community. I can almost guarantee seeing someone of my neighborhood when I go out to get a set. I can recall one experience where I was feeling up a Simpson's CMF when a girl at my school came walking down the aisle- and I flung the CMF (I assume it was Maggie) into the bin so fast that it made a loud sound. Yeah, I was red as a beet.

While I would like to say I am comfortable with my hobby of being a LEGO Enthusiast, I will be honest in saying that sometimes I'm a bit embarrassed because of how my peers have treated me about it in the past. So here is what I suggest if you don't want to be spotted.

1. Pick a store at the edge of town, or one where you know many people don't go to. Such as a small K-Mart opposed to a large Walmart. For me, it's either my local Barnes and Noble or K-Mart.

2. Go in the middle of the week. Tuesday through Thursday. Less traffic, less people.

3. Go later in the day, after 6:00 PM. If all of these rules are followed, you will likely not be bothered. Course, I've been called out before. Sometimes I just send someone else to go get my sets, lol. 

xwingpilot

xwingpilot said:

When #75094 was delivered (in its LEGO shipping box) the delivery lady hid it out of sight and said "are the kids around because this might be a present". I just replied "no need to worry - it's for me!". She then saw my LEGO display shelves in the study from the door and, with a big smile, said "ah yes, I can see that now". :)

I should also say, I do appreciate that a TFOL might feel more self-conscious than an AFOL. From my own experience, teenagers are more self-conscious about most things (I know I was), and 30-something year old dads with their own LEGO is starting to become quite cool*. Just look at this comment from a 2015 fathers day article in the Telegraph:

"Star Wars LEGO: You might think this is an ironic entry, but it’s not. It dawned on me a few weeks back, as I found myself in a children’s toy shop salivating over a LEGO Ewok village: Star Wars LEGO – and I mean of the proper old Star Wars, not the new fangled stuff the kids like – is made for dads. Not for playing with, of course, but for combining two of us dads' favourite things to do: taking on a mini-project and reminiscing about the childhoods we’ve never quite gotten over. If the kids are reading, I’ll have the new Death Star Final Duel set or Imperial Shuttle. Any man who doesn't want this needs to see a counsellor about his childhood."

* At least that's what I keep telling myself ;)

farnold

I just buy it off Amazon. They're prices are a lot more reasonable. However if you don't have Amazon I'd suggest buying it out of town when you travel. That way its nobody You know, Which means no embarrassment.

BrownRiceMafia

farnold said:

I just buy it off Amazon. They're prices are a lot more reasonable. However if you don't have Amazon I'd suggest buying it out of town when you travel. That way its nobody You know, Which means no embarrassment.

Yeah I only go in store to get things that aren't discounted other places.


I also find the LEGO Store staff super friendly and go there more often than Target.

bobabricks

I actually got quite a bit of respect as a TFOL. Everybody at my school sure knew I was making a hell of a lot more on my BrickLink store then they were, doing a summer job or whatever, ha ha.

empire

I don't try to hide it. Once in awhile the women working at Toys R Us will ask if it's for myself, I just give an enthusiastic "Yup". A grown woman that works in a toy store for minimum wage has no right to judge me :P

mr_benn

^ To be fair, you don't have any right to judge "a grown woman who works in a toy store for minimum wage" either.

This post amuses me somewhat as replace 'Lego' with 'top shelf magazines' and it practically reads the same - people worrying about what others will think, be confident, be yourself, don't look shifty...

TigerMoth

mr_benn said:

This post amuses me somewhat as replace 'Lego' with 'top shelf magazines' and it practically reads the same - people worrying about what others will think, be confident, be yourself, don't look shifty...

There is a difference which means a shopkeeper ought to be less likely to raise an eyebrow with a magazine! As such, purchasing porn is more legitimate than purchasing a LEGO set! Isn't it?

For the magazine, there's only one type of end customer - adult. By stocking it, the store expects to sell it for somebody like you. A toy shop has several types of end customer, but you can boil it down to adult and child - and can understandably express surprise if a toy is for an adult.

Of course, the shop only knows TO whom they sell it, not FOR whom, which is why a teenage boy should have no qualms about going into a shop and buying a LEGO set, a girl's doll, female sanitary products or countless other things where they'd wish the Grim Reaper would turn up double-quick!

There's another difference - a teenager would be proud if he managed to secure a purchase from that top shelf. And far from looking shifty, he'd have a big grin on his face.

bandit778

CurvedRoadPlate said:

Shopping for Lego is even more fun when you do it with others. 

My wife would disagree with this.